What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Why do some people have loving parents and some do not?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What does it mean when your husband comments and likes other women on social media? He has private IG and TikTok accounts that I have no access to. He has saved videos and pictures of women on his phone.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

What factors may contribute to intelligent individuals identifying as Republican rather than Democrat in the United States today?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

How come Taiwan is LGBT friendly, yet Japan and South Korea are not?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What are the most common signs that a partner will cheat before it happens?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

TEXT:

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why does my crush always looks at me in a sad way whenever I talk with other boys, and if he catch me staring on him then he go and flirt with other girls and then check if I am looking at him?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What is a good comeback for when someone calls you flat?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Why do older people have a hard time using technology?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What can help me fall asleep at night?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why would a spouse cheat if the marriage is good?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!